Basic Instinct 2: Meet Mrs. Satan

Is it just me, or does Sharon Stone look a little like the bride of Satan here? This was what she looked like for the premiere of Basic Instinct 2... A few observations:

1.) Try not to look so crazy, even if your fictional character is.
2.) Since when is it the "in thing" to match your lips to your hair color?
3.) She really needs a new stylist - I mean, who the heck thought it would be sexy to give her the Marie Antoinette/Hootie McBoob Prostitute/Ratty looking up-do?
4.) You're 50-something, and not hot enough to show your cooter anymore on screen, so let's start looking more our age and a little less scary/slutty.

**Check out Bertachel for fashion critiques and other random fashion slams!**

No Fly Zone

Co-workers are an interesting bunch... and not to single out any specific industry or trade, but I must say, hands down, that the transportation/trucking industry is BY FAR the most interesting group. While everyone is rather irritatingly pleasant and nice to one another, I have never heard the F-Bomb dropped so much in my life, nor have I seen particular people eat a smorgasbord of McDonald's breakfast, almost every morning before. Another interesting tidbit is how much some people totally invade others' private bubble. There is one person in particular, and we shall call him Humpy (obviously NOT his real name, although it should be).

When Humpy needs something from you or needs to talk to you, he will come stand behind your chair. Now, this may seem reasonable to some people, but he doesn't just stand there. His front side is, no joke, pressed up against the back of your chair. He'll just stand there until you notice him and ask him what he needs. Honestly, I think Humpy get's his rocks off on practically humping the back of your chair. Sometimes he even gets a little physical with it by patting your shoulders... I mean, it's bad enough that one has to feel Humpy breathing down onto the top of your head, but there is no need to, as Olivia Newton-John once sang about, "get physical". At work, my personal bubble is a no fly zone for anyone - especially you, Humpy!

Bowl-O-Rama

I think I might become a pro-bowler. I don't know if it was the sweaty balls we were using, or if it was the previous bowler's germ-infested shoes I was using, or if Bi Al's bowling karma was wafting toward lane 8, but I was tearin' it up our first game. We were ALL tearin' it up on our first game. I scored a 150! I think that was the highest score I've ever had at bowling. However, after that first game, my old age and arthritis started kicking in and each game after got subsequently worse and worse.

The second game we maintained our spark and I got 119, which is still good for me. I think the crusty beer we were drinking was starting to kick in, too, so our scores slipped a little, along with the ability to control the level of our voices and control of the sweaty balls. I know that sounds dirty, but seriously, the balls we sweating like no other... which, being a germ-o-phobe, worried me a little.

The third game we decided that we all had to bowl with the opposite hand. Lord almighty. I have never laughed harder in my life! We all looked like a group of special-ed string beans who could not control their limbs... people were staring and pointing at the 4 twenty-somethings bowling worse than their 3 year-old kids. We did manage to hit some pins, but overall, that game was for entertainment purposes... also, bowling like that is a sure-fire way to clear the lanes next to you on both sides so you can act even more stupid and not have to worry about what your bowling neighbors might think.

The last game we played only lasted 5 frames, so we granny-bowled. I actually did pretty well with this one. I managed to get 3 or 4 strikes in a row. Matt and I also learned that it is much easier for boys to granny bowl than girls... proof positive by looking at Cathy's granny bowling form, which I would try to descibe, but there really aren't words for it. Good times, good times.

So in conclusion, I suggest bowling to everyone if they are looking for something entertaining to do... especially cosmic bowling. There's lots of sexy black lights, so be sure to wear non-jizz stained clothing, but make sure you wear something that will make you glow. And as always, there's a ton of choice people and fashion statements being made, so it's a fabulous pick-me-up if you're feeling down about yourself!

Catch-up...

It has been well over a month since I've posted anything on here... I think it's been a combination of sheer laziness and lack of something interesting to write about. So much has (NOT) happened in the last month! Where to begin?

The last time we met... hmmm, that was... whew! February 15th! I'm a little behind the times I guess... well nothing major happened in those last two weeks in February, so we'll just move on to March...

-March 5th: The Oscars have been mulled over and over, so I won't give my fashion critiques, other than to say Reese looked gorgeous and I'm happy she won the Oscar.

-March 11th: Matt's family took a trip up to the Big City and we all went out to dinner at Buca's for his mom's 50th birthday. It was excellent and the wait for a table wasn't bad, minus the 800 times my front side got plastered against the fake Roman pillar in front of the "bread baking observation area" in the packed-so-tight-it-was-a-fire-hazard waiting room, while Juan Cucaracha (or whatever his name was) kept opening the oven, exposing my face to the flames of hell... *gasp* ... while my back side was being violated by unknown strangers passing by. And I'm pretty sure my face was dripping with sweat, which probably got onto some of the bread Mr. Cucaracha was making... but that's ok because it adds more flavor.

March 17th: St. Patrick's Day. Matt and I took this day off for fun, and we were both sauced by 9am. Ok, I lied, we weren't sauced at all that day, but we did go to the bar downtown for a while.

That, friends, brings us to today, March 24th. Tonight I am going bowling at Sunray with Rachel, Cathy, and Matt. Bring the cameras, kids! I haven't been bowling since college; however, I do have the bowling form down pat where the one leg sweeps majestically behind the other. That, I can do... the ball, on the other hand, doesn't have such perfect form and usually ends up in the gutter. I have an innate fear that I'll be "that guy" whose bowling ball slips off his fingers while he swings his arm back to throw the ball down the alley, and then gasps in horror with his hands covering his mouth in shock like he just won the Miss America pageant, while the ball flies back and hits someone in the face... I think its cosmic bowling tonight though, so at least it will be dark, and no one will witness my dainty bowling skills.