This is the most hilarious post I have read in a long time.
I'm thinking of starting an organization a la P.E.T.A. because of this subject... except call it something like "People for the Ethical Treatment of Audiences: Dedicated to eliminating the exposure of idiotic celebrity ramblings to audiences nationwide". It's like the really dumb popular girl in high school trying to validate herself with something that is CLEARLY not meant to even get a "Check Plus" in a first grade spelling test. The sad thing is - a first grader could probably write something far more cohesive and intellectual than Ms. Lohan.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Way to go, Lance!
Another celebrity power couple has taken a trip to Splitsville. Oh, wait, did I say power couple? I meant Lance finally kicked Reichen to the curb... probably after he realized that the Third Reich was just using him to advance his own career and "celebrity status", if he even ever had a celebrity status after all the buzz about winning the Amazing Race died down. Well, unless you consider Reich's ground-breaking performance as the bartender at Chez Rouge on Days of Our Lives a big status booster, then whatever. He didn't even have any lines.
Lance needs the freedom to play the field... be a manwhore! He did just come out after all, and the Third Reich was his first relationship... so he needs to experience what this gay world has to offer. It's Lance Bass for Pete's sake! He could get anyone he wants at this point. He is no longer viewed as the awkward looking former N'Sync-er with a fat face who is probably gay. He is now viewed as the aesthetically pleasing, slimmed down in the facial region, hot-to-trot millionaire and former N'Sync-er.
So, you go boy! Way to get rid of Reichen! That relationship made me more uncomforatble than seeing Britney's cooter as she was getting out of Paris's car.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Sicky
Doesn't this make you a little sad? It makes me a little sad. My poor nephew is sick and this is the picture my sister sent me on my phone... I just want to hug the little guy! Monday, December 04, 2006
Muscled McPiercedpenis would have been better...
Chad: What's your name?
Buff Stripper w/ 13 piercings: Diesel.
Chad: Of course it is...
Brass Rail - Saturday night - Chad's 35th birthday outing.
Buff Stripper w/ 13 piercings: Diesel.
Chad: Of course it is...
Brass Rail - Saturday night - Chad's 35th birthday outing.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Bobby K
I went and saw "Bobby" last night. It was a pretty good movie, with an incredibly intense ending that left somewhat of an impact on me. During the last few moments of the film, the audio from a speech Robert F. Kennedy gave was played. I found it to be a very intriguing speech, and from time to time I think we need to be reminded of the great Americans of the past who spoke words of deep passion and relevance - - especially when my 18 year old niece leans over to me and asks who the movie is about and if "that guy" dies or not.
Robert F. Kennedy on the Mindless Menace of Violence, April 5, 1968:
This is a time of shame and sorrow. It is not a day for politics. I have saved this one opportunity, my only event of today, to speak briefly to you about the mindless menace of violence in America which again stains our land and every one of our lives.
It is not the concern of any one race. The victims of the violence are black and white, rich and poor, young and old, famous and unknown. They are, most important of all, human beings whom other human beings loved and needed. No one - no matter where he lives or what he does - can be certain who will suffer from some senseless act of bloodshed. And yet it goes on and on and on in this country of ours.
Why? What has violence ever accomplished? What has it ever created? No martyr's cause has ever been stilled by an assassin's bullet.
No wrongs have ever been righted by riots and civil disorders. A sniper is only a coward, not a hero; and an uncontrolled, uncontrollable mob is only the voice of madness, not the voice of reason.
Whenever any American's life is taken by another American unnecessarily - whether it is done in the name of the law or in the defiance of the law, by one man or a gang, in cold blood or in passion, in an attack of violence or in response to violence - whenever we tear at the fabric of the life which another man has painfully and clumsily woven for himself and his children, the whole nation is degraded.
"Among free men," said Abraham Lincoln, "there can be no successful appeal from the ballot to the bullet; and those who take such appeal are sure to lost their cause and pay the costs."
Yet we seemingly tolerate a rising level of violence that ignores our common humanity and our claims to civilization alike. We calmly accept newspaper reports of civilian slaughter in far-off lands. We glorify killing on movie and television screens and call it entertainment. We make it easy for men of all shades of sanity to acquire whatever weapons and ammunition they desire.
Too often we honor swagger and bluster and wielders of force; too often we excuse those who are willing to build their own lives on the shattered dreams of others. Some Americans who preach non-violence abroad fail to practice it here at home. Some who accuse others of inciting riots have by their own conduct invited them.
Some look for scapegoats, others look for conspiracies, but this much is clear: violence breeds violence, repression brings retaliation, and only a cleansing of our whole society can remove this sickness from our soul.
For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay. This is the violence that afflicts the poor, that poisons relations between men because their skin has different colors. This is the slow destruction of a child by hunger, and schools without books and homes without heat in the winter.
This is the breaking of a man's spirit by denying him the chance to stand as a father and as a man among other men. And this too afflicts us all.
I have not come here to propose a set of specific remedies nor is there a single set. For a broad and adequate outline we know what must be done. When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues, when you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or your family, then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but as enemies, to be met not with cooperation but with conquest; to be subjugated and mastered.
We learn, at the last, to look at our brothers as aliens, men with whom we share a city, but not a community; men bound to us in common dwelling, but not in common effort. We learn to share only a common fear, only a common desire to retreat from each other, only a common impulse to meet disagreement with force. For all this, there are no final answers.
Yet we know what we must do. It is to achieve true justice among our fellow citizens. The question is not what programs we should seek to enact. The question is whether we can find in our own midst and in our own hearts that leadership of humane purpose that will recognize the terrible truths of our existence.
We must admit the vanity of our false distinctions among men and learn to find our own advancement in the search for the advancement of others. We must admit in ourselves that our own children's future cannot be built on the misfortunes of others. We must recognize that this short life can neither be ennobled or enriched by hatred or revenge.
Our lives on this planet are too short and the work to be done too great to let this spirit flourish any longer in our land. Of course we cannot vanquish it with a program, nor with a resolution.
But we can perhaps remember, if only for a time, that those who live with us are our brothers, that they share with us the same short moment of life; that they seek, as do we, nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and in happiness, winning what satisfaction and fulfillment they can.
Surely, this bond of common faith, this bond of common goal, can begin to teach us something. Surely, we can learn, at least, to look at those around us as fellow men, and surely we can begin to work a little harder to bind up the wounds among us and to become in our own hearts brothers and countrymen once again.
Robert F. Kennedy on the Mindless Menace of Violence, April 5, 1968:
This is a time of shame and sorrow. It is not a day for politics. I have saved this one opportunity, my only event of today, to speak briefly to you about the mindless menace of violence in America which again stains our land and every one of our lives.
It is not the concern of any one race. The victims of the violence are black and white, rich and poor, young and old, famous and unknown. They are, most important of all, human beings whom other human beings loved and needed. No one - no matter where he lives or what he does - can be certain who will suffer from some senseless act of bloodshed. And yet it goes on and on and on in this country of ours.
Why? What has violence ever accomplished? What has it ever created? No martyr's cause has ever been stilled by an assassin's bullet.
No wrongs have ever been righted by riots and civil disorders. A sniper is only a coward, not a hero; and an uncontrolled, uncontrollable mob is only the voice of madness, not the voice of reason.
Whenever any American's life is taken by another American unnecessarily - whether it is done in the name of the law or in the defiance of the law, by one man or a gang, in cold blood or in passion, in an attack of violence or in response to violence - whenever we tear at the fabric of the life which another man has painfully and clumsily woven for himself and his children, the whole nation is degraded.
"Among free men," said Abraham Lincoln, "there can be no successful appeal from the ballot to the bullet; and those who take such appeal are sure to lost their cause and pay the costs."
Yet we seemingly tolerate a rising level of violence that ignores our common humanity and our claims to civilization alike. We calmly accept newspaper reports of civilian slaughter in far-off lands. We glorify killing on movie and television screens and call it entertainment. We make it easy for men of all shades of sanity to acquire whatever weapons and ammunition they desire.
Too often we honor swagger and bluster and wielders of force; too often we excuse those who are willing to build their own lives on the shattered dreams of others. Some Americans who preach non-violence abroad fail to practice it here at home. Some who accuse others of inciting riots have by their own conduct invited them.
Some look for scapegoats, others look for conspiracies, but this much is clear: violence breeds violence, repression brings retaliation, and only a cleansing of our whole society can remove this sickness from our soul.
For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay. This is the violence that afflicts the poor, that poisons relations between men because their skin has different colors. This is the slow destruction of a child by hunger, and schools without books and homes without heat in the winter.
This is the breaking of a man's spirit by denying him the chance to stand as a father and as a man among other men. And this too afflicts us all.
I have not come here to propose a set of specific remedies nor is there a single set. For a broad and adequate outline we know what must be done. When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues, when you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or your family, then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but as enemies, to be met not with cooperation but with conquest; to be subjugated and mastered.
We learn, at the last, to look at our brothers as aliens, men with whom we share a city, but not a community; men bound to us in common dwelling, but not in common effort. We learn to share only a common fear, only a common desire to retreat from each other, only a common impulse to meet disagreement with force. For all this, there are no final answers.
Yet we know what we must do. It is to achieve true justice among our fellow citizens. The question is not what programs we should seek to enact. The question is whether we can find in our own midst and in our own hearts that leadership of humane purpose that will recognize the terrible truths of our existence.
We must admit the vanity of our false distinctions among men and learn to find our own advancement in the search for the advancement of others. We must admit in ourselves that our own children's future cannot be built on the misfortunes of others. We must recognize that this short life can neither be ennobled or enriched by hatred or revenge.
Our lives on this planet are too short and the work to be done too great to let this spirit flourish any longer in our land. Of course we cannot vanquish it with a program, nor with a resolution.
But we can perhaps remember, if only for a time, that those who live with us are our brothers, that they share with us the same short moment of life; that they seek, as do we, nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and in happiness, winning what satisfaction and fulfillment they can.
Surely, this bond of common faith, this bond of common goal, can begin to teach us something. Surely, we can learn, at least, to look at those around us as fellow men, and surely we can begin to work a little harder to bind up the wounds among us and to become in our own hearts brothers and countrymen once again.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Let us be glad...
Let us be grateful!
Let us rejoicify that goodness could subdue
The wicked workings of you-know-who...
17 Days until...
Let us rejoicify that goodness could subdue
The wicked workings of you-know-who...
17 Days until...
And Chicago!
Who's excited?!
Friday, November 10, 2006
Crayon High Society
I went to Target last night to buy my 2 year old nephew a birthday present. I decided to get him some markers and crayons since he LOVES to color. He'll make you sit down next to him, patting the chair, gesturing for you to sit down next to him and color along side him - and he does not let you get up until he says you're done coloring. He can be quite the authoritative little bugger sometimes.
As I was standing in the crayon aisle of Target, I was overwhelmed with the different amounts and colors of crayons you can get nowadays. Mauvelous, Macaroni and Cheese, Mango Tango, Inch Worm. These are just a few of the colors they have now. They even have a 150 count crayon package with all of their colors neatly arranged in a round plastic tote that spins around for your convenience while selecting a color.
I remember the time when your elementary school status depended on the amount of crayons you had. The hot commodity was the coveted 64 count box of Crayola's WITH the built in crayon sharpener in the back of the box. You would have to keep a pretty close eye on who was borrowing your crayons and practically obtain collateral from your peers until they gave your crayon back, lest you don't get that crayon back or they try and fool you by giving you the wrong color back. Your Crayola's could make you or break you back then.
I decided on a happy medium for my nephew's present - I got him the 96 count box of Crayola's WITH the crayon sharpener in the back. I figured this should be enough crayons to last him a while until he eats them all like any other normal kid.
P.S. And I'm sure everyone remembers the episode of Mr. Rogers when he tours the Crayola factory and showed us how crayons were made. That was such a sweet episode.
As I was standing in the crayon aisle of Target, I was overwhelmed with the different amounts and colors of crayons you can get nowadays. Mauvelous, Macaroni and Cheese, Mango Tango, Inch Worm. These are just a few of the colors they have now. They even have a 150 count crayon package with all of their colors neatly arranged in a round plastic tote that spins around for your convenience while selecting a color.
I remember the time when your elementary school status depended on the amount of crayons you had. The hot commodity was the coveted 64 count box of Crayola's WITH the built in crayon sharpener in the back of the box. You would have to keep a pretty close eye on who was borrowing your crayons and practically obtain collateral from your peers until they gave your crayon back, lest you don't get that crayon back or they try and fool you by giving you the wrong color back. Your Crayola's could make you or break you back then.
I decided on a happy medium for my nephew's present - I got him the 96 count box of Crayola's WITH the crayon sharpener in the back. I figured this should be enough crayons to last him a while until he eats them all like any other normal kid.
P.S. And I'm sure everyone remembers the episode of Mr. Rogers when he tours the Crayola factory and showed us how crayons were made. That was such a sweet episode.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Rummy, Out!
Finally, after 6 years he's gone... finito... auf wiedersehen... au revoir... don't let the door hit your butt on the way out!
A Good Day
It is certainly turning out to be a productive day in my book. I am man - hear me roar!
1. I applied for a job with the Minnesota Senate Counsel today, which makes that the 5th job I've applied for in general over the last week and a half.
2. I called my bank about a discrepancy on my account. The not-so-intelligent/let's-take-an-hour-and-a-half-to-serve-the-food restaurant in Wisconsin I ate at on Sunday over charged my check card by $25.54! Now that is a lot of money for poor folk like myself... luckily Beverly at US Bank saw that and didn't let it post to my account. Thanks Bev! You're a real peach!
That's all for now. Maybe the productivity will continue through the afternoon if I'm lucky.
1. I applied for a job with the Minnesota Senate Counsel today, which makes that the 5th job I've applied for in general over the last week and a half.
2. I called my bank about a discrepancy on my account. The not-so-intelligent/let's-take-an-hour-and-a-half-to-serve-the-food restaurant in Wisconsin I ate at on Sunday over charged my check card by $25.54! Now that is a lot of money for poor folk like myself... luckily Beverly at US Bank saw that and didn't let it post to my account. Thanks Bev! You're a real peach!
That's all for now. Maybe the productivity will continue through the afternoon if I'm lucky.
This just in...
Sadly, the gay hating, submissive wife from he 7th layer of hell won. Did anyone see her hair?!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Monday, November 06, 2006
News Flash
Do any of you out there in Blogger Land remember the good old days of PBS children's programming? If I could, I would watch Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers still. I used to watch those shows well into college when I would be home "sick", and nowadays with all the insanity of the relentless political ads on TV, it's enough to make you miss "News Flash with Kermit The Frog".
I always felt so much better after watching these shows. "News Flash" was always one of my favorite Sesame Street skits. The little morse code noise urgently beeping, "Kermit Theee Frog here" interviewing Peter Piper about his pickles, Sleeping Beauty, and my personal favorite, Don Music:
I used to laugh my head off every time he would bang his head on the piano keys because he couldn't think of the right words for his song he was composing.
So friends, let's take a few moments to remember those good ol' days of PBS when we didn't care about politics and only cared about whether or not Snuffalupagus would be making an appearance on Sesame Street.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Must Mode
I was watching my regular Thursday night programming - Ugly Betty - last night, and they were putting together ideas for the annual “Must Mode” list for their January publication; it is a list of the must have items or must do things for 2007. I decided to make my own list of things I must have / do / can’t live without…
1. A fabulous pair of Puma’s. I really think that my footwear collection (all 5 pairs of shoes I own) MUST include a fabulous pair of Puma’s. My first pair of Puma’s I bought was in 7th grade and I thought I was da bomb. They were your traditional blue suede shoes with the signature white stripe along the sides. They were the biggest shoes in the world, but I loved them to death. I went without a pair of Puma’s for many years until I did my study abroad in Paris, where everyone and their dog had a pair on their feet. I succumbed to pressure and bought another pair of blue and white Puma’s, but these were the hip and trendy Euro shoes that hadn’t made it to the States yet. I have owned a pair of sleek and trendy Euro Puma’s ever since.
2. Bumble & Bumble hair products: Made in New York City, these hair products are probably the best I have ever used. Not overly potent, great hold, and creatively designed packaging, make these products a must have for me.
3. Chapstick Lip Moisturizer: The BEST Chapstick on the face of the PLANET. If it were a real person, I think I’d marry it and produce millions of little Chapsticks. It’s practically one with my body… my lips ar so silky and soft because of it.
4. iTunes/iPod: This is really a no brainer. Everyone loves this and I really don’t know what I’d do without it. Always a must have for me.
5. Something between my knees when I’m sleeping: And no I’m not talking about a man… I’m not that much of a skeeze. If my knees are touching, I have the hardest time getting comfy. So whether it’s a pillow, comforter, Matt’s leg, whatever – I need something between my knees.
6. Chamomile tea with lemon and honey: I used to drink this when I had a sore throat and sometimes I would drink it a little while before a choir concert… it always makes me feel better inside and helps soothe my throat. I haven’t had it for a while, but I am going to rekindle that obsession now that I have a cold.
7. PARIS: France, not the Hilton. It is my goal to make it back to Paris at some point next year. If you ever find yourself in Paris, again FRANCE not the Hilton, it is a MUST to go to this quaint little bakery where the workers dress in what appears to be Chanel (it is Paris after all…) on Rue Daguerre. It was near the Denfert Rochereau metro stop and they made the BEST chasse-aux-pommes. Apple filled pastries that were like heaven on earth. Also, there is a Vietnamese restaurant at 178 Rue Daguerre right across the street from my school that makes the best Pho Soup… to die for.
8. An Ella Fitzgerald CD: Any CD of hers will do, really. Her sexy, sultry voice makes anything feel a million times classier. I still love her renditions of any Christmas song, and I love her Moonlight in Vermont.
9. Chicago: What in this city wouldn’t make it on a MUST list? I didn’t get out there but once this year, and that was a bad experience, so it is a goal of mine to visit again. From the Magnificent Mile to Boystown to Oprah, you need to get there if you have never been. And while you’re there – at the very least, get some caramel corn from Garret’s on Michigan Avenue, have lunch at the Signature Room atop the Hancock Tower, and catch a Cub’s game at Wrigley Field.
10. Take a road trip with a loved one: Talk about a great way to get to know someone or to see if you’re compatible. And a perfect road trip would be to #9! Nothing says “Let’s see how long we can tolerate each other” better than cramming you and a lover or family member in a car with luggage and hundreds of miles of road ahead. I haven’t heard enough road tripping stories this year and I think they need to make a come back. Maybe Matt and I will take a road trip sometime… and hopefully live to tell about it.
1. A fabulous pair of Puma’s. I really think that my footwear collection (all 5 pairs of shoes I own) MUST include a fabulous pair of Puma’s. My first pair of Puma’s I bought was in 7th grade and I thought I was da bomb. They were your traditional blue suede shoes with the signature white stripe along the sides. They were the biggest shoes in the world, but I loved them to death. I went without a pair of Puma’s for many years until I did my study abroad in Paris, where everyone and their dog had a pair on their feet. I succumbed to pressure and bought another pair of blue and white Puma’s, but these were the hip and trendy Euro shoes that hadn’t made it to the States yet. I have owned a pair of sleek and trendy Euro Puma’s ever since.
2. Bumble & Bumble hair products: Made in New York City, these hair products are probably the best I have ever used. Not overly potent, great hold, and creatively designed packaging, make these products a must have for me.
3. Chapstick Lip Moisturizer: The BEST Chapstick on the face of the PLANET. If it were a real person, I think I’d marry it and produce millions of little Chapsticks. It’s practically one with my body… my lips ar so silky and soft because of it.
4. iTunes/iPod: This is really a no brainer. Everyone loves this and I really don’t know what I’d do without it. Always a must have for me.
5. Something between my knees when I’m sleeping: And no I’m not talking about a man… I’m not that much of a skeeze. If my knees are touching, I have the hardest time getting comfy. So whether it’s a pillow, comforter, Matt’s leg, whatever – I need something between my knees.
6. Chamomile tea with lemon and honey: I used to drink this when I had a sore throat and sometimes I would drink it a little while before a choir concert… it always makes me feel better inside and helps soothe my throat. I haven’t had it for a while, but I am going to rekindle that obsession now that I have a cold.
7. PARIS: France, not the Hilton. It is my goal to make it back to Paris at some point next year. If you ever find yourself in Paris, again FRANCE not the Hilton, it is a MUST to go to this quaint little bakery where the workers dress in what appears to be Chanel (it is Paris after all…) on Rue Daguerre. It was near the Denfert Rochereau metro stop and they made the BEST chasse-aux-pommes. Apple filled pastries that were like heaven on earth. Also, there is a Vietnamese restaurant at 178 Rue Daguerre right across the street from my school that makes the best Pho Soup… to die for.
8. An Ella Fitzgerald CD: Any CD of hers will do, really. Her sexy, sultry voice makes anything feel a million times classier. I still love her renditions of any Christmas song, and I love her Moonlight in Vermont.
9. Chicago: What in this city wouldn’t make it on a MUST list? I didn’t get out there but once this year, and that was a bad experience, so it is a goal of mine to visit again. From the Magnificent Mile to Boystown to Oprah, you need to get there if you have never been. And while you’re there – at the very least, get some caramel corn from Garret’s on Michigan Avenue, have lunch at the Signature Room atop the Hancock Tower, and catch a Cub’s game at Wrigley Field.
10. Take a road trip with a loved one: Talk about a great way to get to know someone or to see if you’re compatible. And a perfect road trip would be to #9! Nothing says “Let’s see how long we can tolerate each other” better than cramming you and a lover or family member in a car with luggage and hundreds of miles of road ahead. I haven’t heard enough road tripping stories this year and I think they need to make a come back. Maybe Matt and I will take a road trip sometime… and hopefully live to tell about it.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
My Secret Lover
I love Nyquil... it's fast and easy. I took a cap-full last night and was out like a light until the alarm went off this morning. The one down side to taking Nyquil is that it tastes like ass crack (a.k.a. black licorice) and it's effects last far longer than the regular 8 hour sleep schedule. I didn't think I was going to make it to work this morning because I was pretty much passing out and struggling to keep my eyes open. I am better now, but man - they should tell you not to drive or operate machinery until you know the effect it will have on you. On Tuesday night I barely slept at all and my throat was so sore the next day that I was 2 octaves lower than where I normally am; so to avoid a repeat sleepless night, I took some Nyquil and it is my secret lover.
I do have a cold, by the way... I'm not taking it for fun... however... ;o)
I do have a cold, by the way... I'm not taking it for fun... however... ;o)
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Happy Halloween, Kiddies!
And now for a Halloween treat - something truly heinous and much scarier than accidentally stumbling upon your parent's S&M dungeon while it's being rented out and used by your grandparents:
And I shall be crowned the Queen of the Damned!
And I shall be crowned the Queen of the Damned!HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Thursday, October 26, 2006
In the waiting line...
I am on the phone right now at work on hold with Dillon's trying to schedule a delivery appointment. After having been on hold for 5 minutes, I decided to turn on the timer function on my phone, and at this moment it is coming up on 9 minutes, which means I have been holding for close to 15 minutes once you factor in the first undocumented 5 minutes. How ridiculous... how much time do you think we spend on hold in a lifetime? At this point, I'm thinking its a lot of time.
Oh! It's ringing! I have reached a live person at 15 minutes and 30 seconds... and the call finally finished at 17 minutes and 30 seconds. Wow! And this, sadly, is pretty typical for these large chain stores.
Yesterday I was on hold with Wal-Mart (excuse me while I vomit) for 35 minutes of my life until I finally reached someone. I tried desperately to bargain with Judy on the other end of the phone to get those 35 minutes of my life back, but she wouldn't budge. I even tried the Wal-Mart tactic of "Rolling Back" and saying I'd settle for getting 30 minutes back, but she still didn't want to concede any "Roll Backs". So I told her I'd roll her a punch in the nose... the call ended shortly after that. Luckily I had already secured the delivery appointment.
So just in those two calls alone, I have wasted a little over an hour of my life. I don't even want to think about all those other calls I have made to the wretched Wal-Mart, Sam's Club, Dillon's, and other stores. And I'd try to get revenge on the person and put them on hold for an equal amount of time, but I'm too scared that they would hang up, forcing me to call back and start my wait all over again.
Ah, the turmoils of working for the man every night and day. Big wheel keep on turnin'... Proud Robbie keep on burnin'... Rollin', rollin', rollin' on the river...
Oh! It's ringing! I have reached a live person at 15 minutes and 30 seconds... and the call finally finished at 17 minutes and 30 seconds. Wow! And this, sadly, is pretty typical for these large chain stores.
Yesterday I was on hold with Wal-Mart (excuse me while I vomit) for 35 minutes of my life until I finally reached someone. I tried desperately to bargain with Judy on the other end of the phone to get those 35 minutes of my life back, but she wouldn't budge. I even tried the Wal-Mart tactic of "Rolling Back" and saying I'd settle for getting 30 minutes back, but she still didn't want to concede any "Roll Backs". So I told her I'd roll her a punch in the nose... the call ended shortly after that. Luckily I had already secured the delivery appointment.
So just in those two calls alone, I have wasted a little over an hour of my life. I don't even want to think about all those other calls I have made to the wretched Wal-Mart, Sam's Club, Dillon's, and other stores. And I'd try to get revenge on the person and put them on hold for an equal amount of time, but I'm too scared that they would hang up, forcing me to call back and start my wait all over again.
Ah, the turmoils of working for the man every night and day. Big wheel keep on turnin'... Proud Robbie keep on burnin'... Rollin', rollin', rollin' on the river...
Monday, October 23, 2006
News of the Stupid: Oh Crap
Those crazy frat boys... At what point do you think they thought, "Oh crap..."???
Beer keg explosion in Connecticut kills 1, injures 7 partygoers
Associated Press
Last update: October 23, 2006 – 9:03 AM
NEW MILFORD, Conn. — Investigators were trying to determine who tossed a beer keg into a burning barrel at a party, causing a deadly explosion that sent metal shards slicing through a crowd of people.
The explosion early Sunday killed Sean M. Caselli, 22, of New Milford. Seven other people were taken to hospitals with burns and shrapnel wounds, police said. Caselli was struck in the neck by a piece of flying metal.
Sgt. Lee Grabner said investigators interviewed witnesses Sunday to try to identify the person witnesses say threw a quarter-keg of beer into the flames, and to determine whether criminal charges should be filed.
Fires had been set in several barrels to keep people at the partygoers warm at the outdoors party in western Connecticut, said Police Captain Michael Mrazik.
"This is a certain tragedy," said Police Chief Colin McCormack. "However, nothing I have been apprised of to this point in this investigation, which I caution is at the very early states, indicates a deliberate act on anyone's part."
Beer keg explosion in Connecticut kills 1, injures 7 partygoers
Associated Press
Last update: October 23, 2006 – 9:03 AM
NEW MILFORD, Conn. — Investigators were trying to determine who tossed a beer keg into a burning barrel at a party, causing a deadly explosion that sent metal shards slicing through a crowd of people.
The explosion early Sunday killed Sean M. Caselli, 22, of New Milford. Seven other people were taken to hospitals with burns and shrapnel wounds, police said. Caselli was struck in the neck by a piece of flying metal.
Sgt. Lee Grabner said investigators interviewed witnesses Sunday to try to identify the person witnesses say threw a quarter-keg of beer into the flames, and to determine whether criminal charges should be filed.
Fires had been set in several barrels to keep people at the partygoers warm at the outdoors party in western Connecticut, said Police Captain Michael Mrazik.
"This is a certain tragedy," said Police Chief Colin McCormack. "However, nothing I have been apprised of to this point in this investigation, which I caution is at the very early states, indicates a deliberate act on anyone's part."
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Stars Are Blind... and drunk...
So, as much as I love Paris Hilton and her wacky antics on Simple Life (the first few seasons, that is... the 4th season sucks balls), I must say I laughed when I heard she got pulled over last night for a DUI. You'd think that with all the partying she does, that she would have been pulled over at least one other time, since apparently she drives sometimes and doesn't have a driver.
So, to make this a little funnier, I was reading the little blurb on kstp.com about this and she said that she had only had one margarita on an empty stomach and she was just so tired from work, so she was swerving on the road and got pulled over. Ok. What "work" does she do??? I wasn't aware that she had a job other than being rich for a living. If anyone can give me any insight on what Miss Paris does for a living then please tell me!
I love this picture...
Amy Klobuchar: You look like a frickin' Backstreet Boy with that stupid headset on Mark. Dipwad. I'm going to totally cream you in this election. You don't stand a chance against my campaign's TV ads featuring my #1 human intrest bait/vote-getter - my big-earred "special" daughter giving two thumbs up.
Mark Kennedy: Shut up. I have my kids in my commercials too, plus I have this kickin' State Fair shack between the cheese curds stand and the pronto pup stand.
AK: Whatever, at least my booth looks homey and welcoming, and I was there everyday with Amy Klobuchar's daughter. And at least in my commercials I don't look like a stiff robot in another boring and predictable plaid accountant's shirt.
MK: Shut up, hooch. Accountants are cool. I'm going to sit here and scowl at you now.
AK: Yeah, ok then. I'll be sure to send you a postcard from Washington, ass.
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